Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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