i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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