This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
