My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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