On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Oh god it's open bar.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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