I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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