Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
