I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
