be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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