all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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