return my video game
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
