Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
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