yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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