Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I wish there were birth control emojis
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Sorry my hands just texted you
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
