his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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