you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
