is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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