I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize