I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
