I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
