take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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