My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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