I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
