Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
