Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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