I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
