Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
handjob tips. give me some.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
No subtext here. People are naked.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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