At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize