for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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