I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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