wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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