I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
