Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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