Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
