love makes seman taste better
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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