Well douche your snatch and let's go!
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I need to stop coming to work sober
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
