i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize