Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
