I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize