I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
