I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
