I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am naked and annoyed.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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