Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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