Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
