I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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