She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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