I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
