I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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