Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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