I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
