I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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