he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
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