i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
