i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
