how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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