Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
please come you make the beer taste better
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
