So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
