The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
