Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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