just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
