2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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