We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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