Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
