Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Randomize
